I'm Trying Really Hard

Allow me to begin by stating the obvious: I am obsessed with food. I think about food from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep at night. I do not understand people that "forget to eat". I have been blessed with a pretty decent metabolism. I am not delusional enough to believe that I will ever weigh 112 lbs again. I also realize that at 5'5" I probably should weigh a little more than 112, but that was my weight before my first pregnancy. I do maintain a fairly active and healthy lifestyle, but my weight is not ideal for me right now. I am trying really hard not to eat as much as I normally do. My appetite is voracious. Seriously. I eat way more than anyone I know, including my husband. I have never forgotten a meal, lost weight while sick, or lost my appetite. On a normal day I would gauge my calorie count to be around 2500-3000 calories.

I haven't been counting calories, but I have been trying to eat less and to include more fruits and vegetables. The result: I'm starving. All. The. Time. Now, thankfully, my goal weight is only about 10lbs away. I've been pretty faithfully reducing my food intake every day for about 10 days and also including yoga in my daily exercise routine. I love to run, but I'm currently taking a break in the hopes of losing some weight and creating some leaner muscle tone before I start running again (and hopefully we'll have some warmer weather). Last year I ran two half-marathons and I hope to do at least that many this year as well.


I have made a few changes to my every day eating and not all of them have been very tasty. I hate the idea of losing my love of food, I'm just trying to reign my self-control. I'm trying to change my portion size. I've tried different ways to make myself feel fuller, but I won't eat anything I don't like. I think that is a wrong way to change my lifestyle. I truly believe that we have been blessed with certain joys in life and I won't deprive myself in that way. I really want to like this 10-grain cereal, but it's really kind of disgusting. And, I tried to fill myself with this shake mix, but I referred to it as my "repulso-shake". Even with coffee, skim milk, and ice, it still tastes artificial.


I'm trying to create a healthier lifestyle and I know it will take time. I have had a few successful breakthroughs. I try to have soup every day as a way to fill up (something about a hot meal) and also to include vegetables. I also made a pretty yummy "bread salad". There have been some failures, though, for instance this hideous cod dish. I had high hopes, but there was no flavor whatsoever. I guess you can't win them all! I look forward to a hot chocolate made with skim milk every afternoon and even if I don't lose my ten pounds I'm still very thankful for a healthy body, no matter what it weighs!


Minestrone Soup
2 T olive oil
1 small onion, chopped coarsely
2 large carrots, chopped coarsely (I haven't been peeling mine)
3 garlic cloves, chopped finely
2 medium zucchini, chopped coarsely
3 cups sliced kale
1 small can tomato paste
1 can chicken broth
1 can small white beans, undrained
parmesan cheese for topping

1. Saute onion and carrot over high heat in olive oil until golden. Add zucchini and garlic and saute until browned. Add kale and stir until slightly wilted.
2. Add the can of tomato paste and then fill the can with three helpings of water.
3. Add the chicken broth and beans and simmer for 35 minutes to allow the flavors to meld.
4. Top with cheese, if desired and serve
**I didn't have to add any salt because the broth and beans were already salted**


Tomato and Bread Salad
1/2 small red onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1/2 T butter
1 T olive oil
1/2 pt cherry tomatoes
1 cup cubed french bread
2 T roasted red peppers
1 T finely chopped fresh parsley
ground black pepper
ground parmesan
1/2 T balsamic vinegar

1. Saute garlic and onion in butter and olive oil on medium-high until golden. Add tomatoes and saute until browned.
2. Add bread and saute until bread is toasted. Add peppers, parsley, and balsamic vinegar.
3. Remove from heat onto plate and top with black pepper and parmesan.
**You could also add olives, cucumbers, different cheese, and different herbs...I just had these things on hand**