An Open Letter to the Pool Supervisor

Dear Bob the Cougar*,

My family loves to swim in "your" pool.  We are usually the only people in the pool or on the pool deck.  I understand you are the pool supervisor.  I realize that you have many rules.  I have noticed that you take the pool rules very seriously.  In the interest of "protecting" us, you do a great job re-underlining the pool rules in red tape (each and every time we visit). 

You have reminded us of the many pool rules each and every time we've visited "your" pool (at least twice every year for seven years).  Somehow you never remember us.  I think it's true dedication that your condo porch is less than fifty feet from "your" pool.  It makes it really handy (I would assume) that you watch each and every person that uses the pool. 

I thought that the pool was to be kept at a constant temperature of 87 degrees fahrenheit.  The pool gate is also supposed to always remain locked (according to your expertly underlined rules).  I wanted you to know that when my family visited a few weeks ago, the pool temperature was 69 degrees fahrenheit and the pool gate was and remained unlocked (due to a malfunctioning latch). 

When my husband and son were throwing a football back and forth (because the pool water was too cold to swim in), we were the only people utilizing the pool area.  The rules did not state any information concerning balls, throwing, or anything related to those two things.  And, don't worry, the girls didn't put sunscreen on before entering the pool. 

It was so nice of you to watch us, walk out to the pool area, and inform us that there was to be "no throwing a ball on the pool deck".  What I want to know is, what did you think when my husband responded to your asinine comment, "well there is today, Bob".  That's kind of a rhetorical question - I don't really care.  I hope that explains the lack of a question mark. 

Sincerely,
the family of paying members of "your" pool (and the youngest by decades)

*name changed to protect the guilty